What the Shit Happened to Susan, and Joyce Re-Visited

She's been Suzie, Happy, Susan, Darla, Jennifer and Kristen. I first met Darla on the cover of Jaguar magazine, August, 1974, and have been hooked since. A simple hunt for "Darla Hood" will naturally end in unrequited surplus of the "Our Gang" dame, cute handful for Alfalfa and the rest of the boys. This here dame has been written up under a bevy of different names, as was wont of most nude models,  and the trend still continues. Big Breast Archive is a well done website about...that's right, boobs. They list this luscious doll first as Darla Hood, and supply an ample dose of images, including one of the author's favorites, so make your way over to that site and take a guess which one.

These images come from a couple of different publications. Jaguar, obviously, was a great magazine with erotic comic strips, tons of nudity, and represented the 1970s in rather astute fashion. Susan was probably the "healthiest" model, but there has not been enough research on my end to solidify the fact. Enough hip bones and one starts to wonder, so I clutch to my breast the August issue, and cherish it a bit more than other issues of the almost-monthly (9 issues/year).
My attention is first drawn to her hips, and to my pleasure, the bones within are hidden most efficiently by just the right amount of hours spent on the sofa (or in the tub!) with a pint of pumpkin ice cream. Then the rest is taken in, beginning with her eyes. Those eyes, a soft brown behind a curtain of big black lashes, likely pasties, set her apart; quite the inspiration for any eager photographer, and had I been I would never have strayed the course, like Russ and Eve in the 1960s. The 70s was a good decade because it introduced to the world the magic of chubby women...cellulite in celluloid, baby! Susan/Darla helped usher in the first part of the ten years that would define modern pornography, with help from her other plump pretties, like Karen Brown (more on her later), and made it possible for modern starlets now, such as Samantha Anderson, Dors Feline, Carmella Bing (later Bing), even Terri Jane.

Darla's far-out booty (I believe you mean, "Apple Bottom"), sturdy limbs, and long black hair culminate into a sweet package, one FedEx can deliver to my door any day.....sure I'll sign for her, do I need to tip you for the extra weight? Her breasts must measure somewhere in the E-F range, and I'd wager she tipped the scales at around 200. Her smile was something at which one could attempt to shake a stick, but fail hopelessly. The slight misalignment of some of the large front teeth, two full incredibly pout lips, and a little ditch in her chin, not unlike those others her frame displays, give her a soft demeanor, and hell, playing with all those bubbles helps out too. She may have been dealt a kiddie card here and there, but it's subtle enough to not be blatant and crude. Not a bad deal for such an addition to the up-and-coming interest in large[r] women. Even with all this going on below the neck, I think the meat of my captivity, like a spotted cat in a cage, has to do with her eyes. Yeah, they all have fun, but Darla wants you to know it's okay if you watch her have fun on her own. I do not get the "come hither" at all from this lady, sorry Darla if you were sending me those signals, but your peepers speak in different ways. Candy Samples did it, tons of Burlesque dancers did it, and few do it now, but those pasties seem to make a world of difference. I yearn for an image of Darla without them.

My second brush with this bush came in Hanging Melons, volume 3 number 3, copyright 1988, but I believe the pictures are from the 1970s, as that was her prime decade. Another lovely color photo, and she works the garters so well, with that gleeful smile and pretty full muff, and a bellyful of pudge to die for. Ambiguous titles like Hanging Melons makes is hard to find exactly who is who, as many of these types of adult quarterlies were composed solely of nameless gams and hams. Darla is featured only once in this magazine, and it's a shame. Her melons are even hanging! Mary Waters, not technically a chubby woman, makes an appearance or two here as well, her melons well on the line to dry.

The most recent encounter with Susan Burton came just the other week, an issue of Night and Day from 1974, October. Night and Day has always helped the horny male, but after their large scale format of 20 years prior, stuck to more nude photography and cheesy stories. Still, the mag managed to produce some choice models, and Susan Burton is no fly-by-Night floosie, never spreading her pussy or holding her ass cheeks apart, and was content on honest erotic photography; no hardcore stuff. She pushed her tits together on occasion, but that's as far as she went, and I admire that. The black-and-whites here are from that N&D issue.

JOYCE RE-VISITED...
she's so sneaky.
Featured on cover only.